construction

I'm building a passage. It isn't simple, it isn't easy, it isn't very rewarding and I feel like I fool, but I continue to build a passage nonetheless. One I pass through to shed myself of what once was and exit as me. I will break myself into pieces to use as building material if I must, and put the rest back together. gradually a passage will begin to build up, I may take a step or two in the process, but once the moment comes when the passage is ready I will pass through it all. One thing worries me though, what awaits for me at the end of the passage? A private hallway was never ment to be seen, and the leading up to it was to be forgotten in order for it to work. But the world doesn't forget. No one does. Will I come out of the passage only to find out that passing through it was a mistake in itself? Only the builders are allowed to know, only the builders can appreciate how hard it was to walk through and build, but there's not many builders, especially not of this passage. The thoughts are still jumbled and the passage while certainly appealing leads to places I'm not quite ready for... That I'm afraid of. I wish there was a way to confront the buzzing lights, the red carpet, the vast expanse of closed doors stretching as the passage extends, tell them to turn ever so slightly so I don't have to encounter the same world at its end. As the curve of the hallway ever so slightly shifts, may it lead me to a world in which my name is nothing but a howl of the wind, one without an answer, unknown to the rest of nature. Grass gently caressing my feet welcoming me as a new guest.