I come to have a complicated relationship with the contradictions between my body, and my mind. Rationalising anything is easy, yet coming to terms with the most minute emotions can be a humongous task. The diaspora of feeling, lacking, wanting, seeing, smelling, thinking; it overwealms and swallows. Our flesh drowning in chaos caused by tiny particles, acting in tandem with the laws of physics, causing what we have come to call a consciousness. The mind however doesn't bend to our will either, perhaps as our flesh had desires, our mind does too. The want; perhaps even the need to fill an intrinsic void, a void that is forever expanding if the way we live doesn't come to a stop, one way or another. A void being ripped open deeper and deeper the more we are forced to deal with the mundane alienation imposed upon us by the very system we live under. The more we come to see that the only path ahead is not the easy one, not the painless one, but it is the only one that doesn't end early. I don't want to go, I don't want to have these feelings, I wish I were not myself, I wish I was born differently, or elsewhere.